Beaches

I love the beach. LOVE IT. I grew up in deep cove, a beautiful place in an already beautiful place. We lived in a big house that was surrounded by forest, beach and ocean. Our front yard wasn't much. Just a drive was and a busy street called Dollarton Highway. If you were standing on our back deck to your left were some trees and bushes and our neighbours houses, tucked away in more trees. To the right was nothing but forest. Thick and old and filled with wonderful things for kids to do. Straight ahead was a long grass hill that finally reached the beach.
I was never bored growing up. Rain or shine I was outside exploring. My brother and I would play in the forest together building tree houses, picking blackberries, huckle berries or salmon berries and playing in the creek that trickled down to the ocean. We explored our neighbours yards. They grew a lot of fruit. Strawberries, raspberries and a whole whack of cherry trees. We would live off the land and never come in for snacks, just meals.
But the beach was our favorite. I bet if I added up the hours I spent at the beach as a kid it would probably equal a year straight. I would collect shells and beach glass and other treasures for hours. I would catch crabs and build them sand kingdoms. The creek would make small rivers in the sand, so we would have real flowing moats around our castles. When the tide came up really high, there were two rock we could climb up on and jump off into the water. I understood tide changes at a very young age. My mom would come down at low tide and put a large stick somewhere on the beach and say " When the water gets to here it's time to come in for dinner". We even ate dinner at the beach at least twice a week. We had cleared out a spot just above the shore in the trees and would make a bonfire and eat hot dogs. It was surrounded by blackberry bushes. In the summer we never brought down desert, we would just eat berries.
The most fun I had at the beach was by myself. A few minute walk down the beach from "our beach" was a beautiful spot. A tree had grown all tangled and oddly shaped over the water very close to the shore. Under the tree was a very large deposit of crushed shells that made the beach look white. When the tide came up I would climb up the tree and sit with a book and read until the tide went down again. I spent so many hours in that tree. I wonder if it is still there, hanging over the water just waiting for someone to climb in a read for a few hours.

I visited my beach last night. The tide was up so I couldn't make it to my reading tree. I could hardly make it back from the beach before the tide came up. It looks very different now. The dock and stairs to the beach have collapsed, probably in the windstorms of '06. Our barbecue spot has grown in with blackberries so thick I couldn't even find the fire ring. I was so sad to see it like that. Such a beautiful spot of beach that isn't being enjoyed as much as I had enjoyed it. I did enjoy collecting shells and beach glass again. It brought back some great memories. I want to bring my kids down there and spend the whole day on the beach, just like I used to. Maybe one day they will love the beach as much as I do.

inspire me

The past is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.

Baby steps

I cannot get motivated! There is so much to clean and organize I don't even know where to start. After a day of cleaning and taking care of the kids, I don't want to go down there and clean a scummy bathroom covered in someone else pee. Yuck. Cody isn't much of a help when it comes to cleaning. He wont even do the dishes.. there is no way he is cleaning a bathroom. I don't even want to get my friends to help me. I feel terrible subjecting them to scum and disgustingness.

I think the most annoying part is I JUST did this. Well, it was 6 months ago. But seriously.. how much of a mess can people make in 6 months. It's gross. If my camera wasn't broken I would take pictures of it to prove how nasty it is. That poor carpet. I try and spend a little while down there everyday. Working in baby steps.



Speaking of baby steps, Parker is almost walking. He took a few steps last week and he takes a few more everyday. He finds it hilarious. He took 7 steps yesterday. He took four, stopped and stood for a few seconds and then ran the last 3 steps to Cody. I wish my camera was working. He is so darn cute with his toothy smile and crazy hair. And he always looks so proud of himself when he is walking. He has even started trying to stand up with nothing around him to hold on to. Jackson is very excited too. Now that Parker is more steady on his feet Jackson loves to hold his hands and help him cruise around the house. It terrifies me, but it makes them both happy. Parker also learned how to climb up on the couch. Jackson loves it and luckily he tells me every time Parker gets up there or we probably would have had some sever head trauma.



Despite how much I love summer, I am looking forward to it ending. We will be back on our feet and living comfortably, Jackson will be starting preschool and the sun will go down before bed time. But we have a lot to look forward to until then. BBQ's and birthday parties and hopefully some lazy summer evenings. A mom can dream :)

We're Free!!!!!!!

It is finally August!! Our basement dwellers are GONE!! They left a huge mess for me to clean up, but I don't even care(I expected it.. they were slobs)! We have our whole house back, for now. Nobody but our own kids wake us up in the morning. I can do laundry whenever I want. Nobody is cooking the most disgusting smelling food at random times of the day. Nobody is fighting loudly about half butts and other random stupid things. No obnoxiously loud music plays first thing in the morning. My kids and I can play in their own backyard and not feel awkward. I will have my storage room back for my things. I can talk on my deck without worrying about offending anyone. I can go on, I really really can. We are so excited to have our life back and not having to share it with another family. This was definitely a life lesson for us. No families. Single people living down there are fine. They have jobs and go out and leave me alone once in a while so I can do laundry.

I think this is going to be the best thing for us. A few months of enjoying the entire house to ourselves. Organizing our things. Getting prepared for another person living down there. The rent is expensive, but totally worth the freedom.

How quickly the time flies

Happy Birthday baby boy! I cannot understand where the time went. I am so proud of all of us. We survived the first year. I made it through a year of broken sleep, counting hours until the next feeding time, and countless medicine doses. Cody put up with me and my terrible mood swings, late night freak outs and missed sleep. Jackson learned how to be a big brother, to share his toys and share time with mom and dad.

I personally am a little bummed. I feel like I wished away this first year away so I could sleep again, which still isn't happening. When he was 4 months I could not wait until now, so I could sleep and he would be easier to deal with. But I would take it all back now if I could. I would go back to the first night and do it all over again, just to enjoy his newborn days. To not care about how tired I am and how much time and effort I have to put into dealing with MCAD. To watch him grow and not care that I am exhausted and need a shower and need to eat something. But I wont let that stop me from enjoying the rest his childhood has to offer.

I am my biggest critic

I thought I was a writer... when I was a kid I wrote short stories and I kept plenty of diaries. So I thought blogging would be easy. Turns out I am far too self critical. I have more drafts on this blog than I do posts. And half of the post I have up I want to delete because I think they are silly or unorganized or just plain pointless.
So I am my biggest critic and not a very good blogger.

Let the good times roll!

After weeks of panic and stress everything is finally falling into place. Cody got our dream job! Well... my dream job for him. Stability and a nice comfort net for us. I am so excited for the paid holidays and him being home just after 3:30 everyday. We are so excited for the first few pay days so we can get back on our feet, get caught up with the dreaded debt monster and prepare for the months he is laid off. I feel very prepared this time. I know what to expect, and we have learned to live off nothing. Because of that we know we can survive off anything.
Summer is off to an amazing start. This week is the polar opposite of last week. Cody landed the job, we went to 2 dinners with friends and had some great times. The kids loved it! Tomorrow we are going to yet another dinner, this time with our family. We have been going for long walks with the kids and our friend and his dog. Keeping busy. I cannot wait for July to be over. Even though Parker will be a year. I can't wait to have my space back, at least for a few months. We can't wait for the BBQs at our place in August. We will have the whole basement which will be used as the "rec-room" until we find someone else to live there and we "re-renovate". I can't wait to use my backyard as a play ground and not feel uncomfortable. I just can't wait. 29 more days.... 29 more days..... Just keep thinking positive!