How quickly the time flies

Happy Birthday baby boy! I cannot understand where the time went. I am so proud of all of us. We survived the first year. I made it through a year of broken sleep, counting hours until the next feeding time, and countless medicine doses. Cody put up with me and my terrible mood swings, late night freak outs and missed sleep. Jackson learned how to be a big brother, to share his toys and share time with mom and dad.

I personally am a little bummed. I feel like I wished away this first year away so I could sleep again, which still isn't happening. When he was 4 months I could not wait until now, so I could sleep and he would be easier to deal with. But I would take it all back now if I could. I would go back to the first night and do it all over again, just to enjoy his newborn days. To not care about how tired I am and how much time and effort I have to put into dealing with MCAD. To watch him grow and not care that I am exhausted and need a shower and need to eat something. But I wont let that stop me from enjoying the rest his childhood has to offer.

I am my biggest critic

I thought I was a writer... when I was a kid I wrote short stories and I kept plenty of diaries. So I thought blogging would be easy. Turns out I am far too self critical. I have more drafts on this blog than I do posts. And half of the post I have up I want to delete because I think they are silly or unorganized or just plain pointless.
So I am my biggest critic and not a very good blogger.

Let the good times roll!

After weeks of panic and stress everything is finally falling into place. Cody got our dream job! Well... my dream job for him. Stability and a nice comfort net for us. I am so excited for the paid holidays and him being home just after 3:30 everyday. We are so excited for the first few pay days so we can get back on our feet, get caught up with the dreaded debt monster and prepare for the months he is laid off. I feel very prepared this time. I know what to expect, and we have learned to live off nothing. Because of that we know we can survive off anything.
Summer is off to an amazing start. This week is the polar opposite of last week. Cody landed the job, we went to 2 dinners with friends and had some great times. The kids loved it! Tomorrow we are going to yet another dinner, this time with our family. We have been going for long walks with the kids and our friend and his dog. Keeping busy. I cannot wait for July to be over. Even though Parker will be a year. I can't wait to have my space back, at least for a few months. We can't wait for the BBQs at our place in August. We will have the whole basement which will be used as the "rec-room" until we find someone else to live there and we "re-renovate". I can't wait to use my backyard as a play ground and not feel uncomfortable. I just can't wait. 29 more days.... 29 more days..... Just keep thinking positive!